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Independência
Um dia vais me perder.
Um dia eu vou embora e nunca mais vou olhar
para trás.
O sonho não era ser perfeita, mas sim ser o suficiente para
estar perto de ser a tua perfeição, a ideia sempre foi que me visses como exemplo a
seguir, que me olhasses com orgulho, admiração.
Mas, nunca aconteceu.
E agora, agora estou cansada, estou farta de esperar por
algo que sei que jamais vai acontecer.
Mas eu, como todos os humanos, mantemos as
expectativas altas demais, as esperanças não morrem e a insistência exaustiva naquilo que por mais que tentemos acreditar que sim, já sabemos que é impossível.
Eu sou a única que realmente gosta de ti, um amor diferente
do amor romântico.
Um amor que se torna doentio quando me tratas como um
inconveniente, uma barreira entre ti e um mundo sem problemas. (Lamento, mas um
mundo sem problemas não existe.)
Jogos infantis e desgastantes, aqueles que quando sabes que estou a
chegar ao meu limite vens até mim cheio de carinho, apenas o suficiente para me manter por perto, enquanto que quando eu
preciso és o primeiro a criticar e a julgar.
E, eu como fraca que sou, não consigo
dizer que não ao pouco que me dás, não consigo pedir mais.
O pior é que não consigo estar longe, mas estar perto é o
que mais me destrói.
Mas, um dia não vai existir "mas".
Um dia eu vou crescer, vou ser forte, vou ser resistente e
mais importante, eu vou ser independente, independente de ti!
Sabes que te amo, sabes que me tens garantida, sabes que vou
estar sempre ao teu lado, do teu lado, mesmo quando já ninguém te conseguir tolerar.
Grande erro.
Um dia, um dia vais querer e não ter.
Um dia, vais ser tu a
precisar e eu, in/felizmente, não vou estar.
Porque me esgotaste, me cansaste e
fizeste-me perceber que mereço mais e melhor.
Espero ansiosamente pelo dia da minha independência.
Não te desejo mal, apenas te desejo bem e muita sorte na
vida, porque apesar de tudo, não és má pessoa, apenas não valorizas o que tens.
O meu desabafo,
O meu desabafo,
MP
Independence
One day you are going to lose me.
One day I go away and never again I am going to look backwards.
The dream was not to be perfect, but yes the sufficient to be close to being your perfection, the idea was always that you would see to me like an example to follow, that you should look at me with pride, wonder.
But, it never happened.
And now, now I am tired, am full of waiting for something that I know that never it is going to happen.
But I, like all the human ones, we maintain the high expectations, the hopes that don’t die and the exhaustive insistence in what however much we try to believe that yes, already we know that it is impossible.
I am the only one who really likes you, a love different from the romantic love.
A love that becomes unhealthy when you treat me like a drawback, a barrier between you and a world without problems. (Sorry, but a world without problems does not exist).
Childlike and stressful plays, those what when do you know that I am reaching my limit you come up to me full from fondness, you punish the sufficient thing to maintain me for near, and where are you when i need, oh yes, you are the first one to criticizing and judging.
And, as weak as i am, i can’t say no the little that you give me and, I do not manage to ask for any more.
The worst is that I can’t keep my distance, but to be nearby is what destroys me more.
But, one day is not going to exist a “but”.
One day I am going to grow, am going to be strong, am going to be resistant and important, I am going to be independent, independent of you!
You know that I love you, know that you have been guaranteeing me, know that I am always going to be to your side, of your side, same when already nobody manages to tolerate you.
Big mistake.
One day, one day you are going to want and not have.
One day, you are going to be needing and I, fortunately/unfortunately, I am not going to be.
Because you exhausted me, you tired me and made me realize that I am worthy more and i deserve better.
I wait anxiously for the day of my independence.
I do not wish you bad, I only wish you well and great luck in life, because despite everything, you are not a bad person, you just don’t appreciate what you have.
One day I go away and never again I am going to look backwards.
The dream was not to be perfect, but yes the sufficient to be close to being your perfection, the idea was always that you would see to me like an example to follow, that you should look at me with pride, wonder.
But, it never happened.
And now, now I am tired, am full of waiting for something that I know that never it is going to happen.
But I, like all the human ones, we maintain the high expectations, the hopes that don’t die and the exhaustive insistence in what however much we try to believe that yes, already we know that it is impossible.
I am the only one who really likes you, a love different from the romantic love.
A love that becomes unhealthy when you treat me like a drawback, a barrier between you and a world without problems. (Sorry, but a world without problems does not exist).
Childlike and stressful plays, those what when do you know that I am reaching my limit you come up to me full from fondness, you punish the sufficient thing to maintain me for near, and where are you when i need, oh yes, you are the first one to criticizing and judging.
And, as weak as i am, i can’t say no the little that you give me and, I do not manage to ask for any more.
The worst is that I can’t keep my distance, but to be nearby is what destroys me more.
But, one day is not going to exist a “but”.
One day I am going to grow, am going to be strong, am going to be resistant and important, I am going to be independent, independent of you!
You know that I love you, know that you have been guaranteeing me, know that I am always going to be to your side, of your side, same when already nobody manages to tolerate you.
Big mistake.
One day, one day you are going to want and not have.
One day, you are going to be needing and I, fortunately/unfortunately, I am not going to be.
Because you exhausted me, you tired me and made me realize that I am worthy more and i deserve better.
I wait anxiously for the day of my independence.
I do not wish you bad, I only wish you well and great luck in life, because despite everything, you are not a bad person, you just don’t appreciate what you have.
My confession,
MP
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